


Chasing Ghosts

by asterkiss



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drug Abuse, F/M, Human Bill Cipher, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-28 20:31:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13911645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asterkiss/pseuds/asterkiss
Summary: “Why are you being nice to me?” she asks and he pauses before giving her a lazy smile.“Because I’m interested in you," he says.





	Chasing Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> An AU longshot. It’s split up into 26 parts, with each following an ascending alphabetical start just because I felt like doing it that way. Each part ranges in length but overall this is one very long thing - almost 15k words. Don't hesitate to take a break between reading, haha.
> 
> This was inspired by Life is Strange verse and a LIS fanfic called 'Staying Vertical' by midnight_neverland which is amazing.
> 
> Warning for a lot of heavy themes and issues which are listed in the tag.
> 
> P.S - Yes, it's Cifer. Yes it's meant to be spelled that way in this fic. You'll find out why.

** A ** gnome.

With a cherry red hat and white bushy beard, its lips were stretched out into a smile that was far too wide to look comfortable. Some of the paint on its cheek had cracked and flaked, and Mabel’s fingers twitched in her lap as she tried to resist the urge to reach out and pluck the flakes off.

“Mabel?”

She tore her gaze away from the miniature man, raising her head to find a larger, normal-sized version sitting and watching her from across the mahogany desk stood between them. He also had a bushy beard, but his was a dark brown in contrast. It matched the colour of his equally bushy eyebrows which were currently arched upwards as he regarded her.

“Still with me?” he asks softly, offering a small smile.

Her eyes took one last lingering look of the ceramic figure seated on the edge of his desk before she nods, forcing a tight smile as her hands clench in her lap. “Haha, yeah, sorry Sir - I, uh, spaced out for a moment.”

“Happens to all of us,” he replies with a throaty chuckle before returning his gaze toward the computer placed at an angle in front of him so he still had a clear view of students sitting opposite his desk. “It says here you’re living at a relatives?”

“My Great Uncle.”

“Things alright at home? Are you being supported?”

“They’re fine.”

His eyes glide toward her and she has the feeling he wants to probe further given he probably has all her notes displayed before him on the screen including her home life. But instead he just nods and returns his attention forward as he types away on the keyboard. “Alright. Well, it’s only your first day back so take it easy. Your teachers are there to offer any support they can, and we have our weekly appointments but my door’s always open any day if you need it. This is just a small bump in the road of your life so don’t worry too much. Take it one day at a time.”

She nods again, thanking him whilst already collecting the backpack by her feet and standing to leave the cramped room. She couldn't hide her eagerness to get out of there if she tried. As soon as she steps out into the narrow corridor outside and allows the door to swing shut behind her, she releases a deep sigh of relief.

With one last glance to the door behind her which sports a golden plaque reading ‘School Counselor: Jeff Carson’, she turns and begins walking down the corridor. There were several chairs lined up on either side of the cramped hallway, with only one being currently occupied. A young man was currently slumped in the chair, long legs stretched out and feet resting on the chair opposite.

He was blocking the corridor, and her only exit.

Mabel’s footsteps were by no means silent as she approached but he still didn’t retract his feet. A few seconds later and she found herself standing beside him, waiting.

A bubble of anxiety began to grow in her gut at his presence but she squashed it down in order to clear her throat.

He glances up at the noise, brown eyes underlined with dark circles peering back at her. A golden necklace hangs low from his neck with an Illuminati symbol on the end. He cocks an eyebrow and she frowns. Eventually, as the seconds pass and he makes no attempt to speak or move, she caves in and breaks the silence first. “Can you move your feet, please?” Despite her attempt to sound firm, her voice quivers toward the end.

He says nothing and regards her for a moment, looking somewhat annoyed. She straightens her back, preparing for some form of backlash or insult. But then, a spark of recognition suddenly flares up within his eyes as he connects the dots to her face. At this point, most would make up some hasty excuse to escape as soon as they recognised her.

But instead, he _grins_.

Somehow that only serves to make her even more uncomfortable.

The sound of a door being opened somewhere behind her reaches her ears. “William Cifer!” Jeff’s voice echoes down the corridor.

His name called, the blond boy before her retracts his feet and stands. With long legs, he towers over her frame easily. She tilts her head back to keep his gaze as he slowly moves around her, not wishing to let him out of her sight when he was so close. She can’t help but think he purposefully brushes his arm against hers in the process.

He gives her one last smirk before stepping past her completely. Mabel turns around to watch as he walks past Jeff and vanishes into the counselors room, gripping the straps of her backpack so tightly her knuckles turn white.

Jeff gives her another look, his gaze curious about what had just transpired but he only nods her way before following the boy into his room.

The door closes with an audible click and she’s left alone once more.

She eventually turns on her heel and walks away, trying to ignore the nauseous feeling in her stomach.

* * *

**B** irds tweet in the early morning hours as she walks along the pavement. School doesn’t start for another two hours but after missing two weeks, she has a lot of work to catch up on and the library seems like the best place to do that. 

The receptionist who works there part-time is nice too. She even greets and acknowledges Mabel as she steps into the building which given recent events, is a rare commodity as of late.

“Heyyy. It’s Mabel, right? I haven’t seen you in a while. I was getting worried a little bit.”

So, she hadn’t heard. Well that explained her lack of wariness.

“Doing some last-minute homework before it's due in?”

Mabel offers a small smile in return. “Something like that.”

“Ha, well have fun! And don’t worry - my lips are sealed.” The girl mimes zipping up her mouth before returning her attention toward the magazines before her and popping a piece of bubble gum in her mouth. Mabel’s eyes briefly glance to the nametag pinned on her flannel shirt that reads ‘Wendy’ before she walks further into the building.

Locating a lone table tucked away in the back Mabel got to work, eating a granola bar as she did so. The hours pass by and all too soon it’s time to leave and head on to school down the street.

She picks up the small pile of books she intends on taking out, maneuvering them in her arms so she can carry them all at once before she leaves - though not before first taking a detour toward the toilets. Stepping through a set of heavy double doors, the teen meanders down a long corridor where the toilets can be found around the corner.

Before she can make the final turn however, a pair of voices reach her ear and she pauses.

“So? Have you got it?”

“Urgh, yes - here, just take it and don’t ask me to do this again, alright? The dealer was a total creep and if I get caught buying this sort of stuff, I’ll lose my scholarship. Next time you want to get high, go buy the stuff yourself.”

Unable to fight her curiosity, she leans forward to peek around the corner. There, stood before the doors leading to the girls toilets, are two familiar faces. Mabel tightens her grip on her books as the boy releases a dark chuckle and leans over the girl.

“Hey now, is that any way to talk to the guy whose father helped bail your family out? It would only take one blab to the press to ruin your old man’s reputation.”

Silence. Mabel can’t see Pacifica Northwest’s expression from this angle.

“That’s what I thought, Princess.”

Her heart thuds like a drum within her chest as the implications of the conversation reach her ears.

Drugs.

She’d always known there were some kids who took drugs but she never thought they’d be exchanging the stuff in the local library! And while the involvement of William Cifer was no surprise to her, the fact the Mayor’s daughter seemed to be acting as a middle-man was.

The pair continue to whisper and Mabel begins to slowly retreat away.

She reaches the double doors and shifts the weight of her books from one arm to the other so she can grasp the door handle. She takes a step back as she pulls it open. The movement causes the books to lose their balance.

One falls to the floor.

The soft thump might as well have been a bomb going off in the otherwise quiet corridor.

The whispers stop.

Mabel leaps through the double doors, not caring as they swing close with another audible bang. Dashing through the library aisles, she hides behind a set of shelves in the children's reading section, heart hammering in her ears as she clutches the remaining three books to her chest like a lifeline.

The minutes tick by and her breathing evens out.

Eventually, after five minutes, she leaves her sanctuary and tries her best to keep a straight face as she approaches reception. Wendy peers over at her appearance and straightens up, reaching out to take her books and library card as she blows a pink bubble between her lips.

The redhead then pops it with her tongue a moment later as she scans the books. “Shakespeare, huh? I never really got his stuff.”

Mabel says nothing, simply eager to leave the building. Thankfully Wendy seems to pick up on this since she says nothing further and hands her the books and card back. With only a small ‘see ya later’, the young woman returns her attention to her magazines.

Mabel leaves the library and rushes down the steps leading out onto the street, keeping a quick pace as she heads in the direction of school.

A pair of eyes watch her from across the street.

* * *

** C**ifer accosts her during school.

A stray hand yanks her into a classroom as she walks along an empty hallway. She quickly jerks herself free and spins around to find him blocking the doorway and watching her intently.

Neither of them say anything as they size one another up. He was easily a head taller than her and it was only four months ago, a few days after she'd first started this school, that she'd witnessed him horrifically beating someone up during school hours. Her nerves feel on fire at the prospect of being alone in a room with him.

When he reaches into the bag hanging off his shoulder, she tenses immediately, preparing to fight or scream or—

He pulls out a book.

She frowns.

“I _think_ ,” he offers it out towards her with a sardonic smile, “this is yours.”

She gives him a confused glance as she hesitantly accepts the book, mindful to not touch his fingers with her own as she takes it. Pulling it close, she examines the cover and—

Her throat goes dry.

He leans against a desk with arms folded over his chest, observing her reaction as her grip on the book tightens. “Recognize it?”

How could she not? It was the very book she’d dropped in the library corridor this morning.

She swallows thickly. “This isn’t mine.”

His smile grows at that, tilting his head thoughtfully. “Oh _really?_ ” She doesn’t like how much emphasis he places on that second word. “That’s weird. You were the only other person from our school that I saw leave the library this morning.”

Her pulse quickens.

 _“And,_   he goes on."I know for a fact that you’re the only one in your Literature Class doing an essay on ‘The Taming of the Shrew’. Most of the other kids in your group chose the popular hits like ‘Romeo and Juliet’ or ‘Hamlet’."

Mabel's gaze drops down to the book in her hands once more. Words titled 'The Taming of the Shrew: A Study Guide' stare back at her in bold lines.

"So..." he drawls. "Wouldn't it make the most sense for that book to belong to you?"

She finds the resolve to somehow lift her gaze. He’s watching her expectantly. He doesn’t appear angry. In fact, it almost looks as if he’s enjoying seeing her squirm, his lips twitched into a mocking smile as he awaits her reply.

“...How do you know what I’m writing about in Literature?” she asks quietly. They didn’t share that class. The only class they did happen to share was Algebra and he was often absent even then. They’d certainly never spoken at length before in the four months that she'd been attending this school.

“Because I’m interested in you.”

She blinks at the blunt response, staring back at him blankly.

“...Kidding,” he eventually adds, smile dropping and before she can think of a way to respond he asks: “Why were you visiting the counselor the other day?”

Mabel gapes at him, caught off guard by the sudden question. “That’s none of your business,” she stutters out, heart clenching inside her chest as she holds the book in a vice-like grip against her chest.

He hums in response, tilting his head. “So was this morning’s conversation, didn’t stop you from eavesdropping though, did it?” He flashes his teeth when he smiles at her this time.

She swallows thickly, ducking her head down as she shifts her weight from one foot to the other uneasily. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“Hm?”

“About this morning,” she clarifies, frowning. “I don’t plan on telling anyone about it, so you don’t need to threaten me in a classroom.”

“I’m not threatening you.” 

“You still pulled me into a classroom against my will, jerk,” she manages to shoot back, gaze still glued to the floor.

A pause. “...Alright." She peers back up to find him pushing himself off the desk and straightening up. “As long as you don’t plan on telling anyone, that’s fine.” He turns to leave.

“What were you going to do if I’d said I was?”

The boy pauses, hand on the door handle. He glances back at her, studying her face for a moment before he shrugs again, a lazy smile on his face. “Guess we’ll never know now, huh?” He winks. "Bye, Mabel."

He leaves the room and she’s left alone.

She peers down at the book in her hands and briefly wonders if he stole it.

* * *

** D**ays pass by slowly. Too slowly.

Mabel sits in her bedroom at her desk, trying to concentrate on the words written before her but it’s hard. She feels tired all the time and she blames it on her medication. Her eyes lazily trail over to the pill of bottles sitting innocently on her desk surface.

She reaches out a hand and flicks the bottle with her finger, causing it to topple over and roll across the wood. Mabel watches this for a moment before sighing and leaning back in her chair. The days wouldn’t seem so long if she had someone to spend them with. She’d always been labelled as a little weird but she’d at least had a handful of friends before this whole incident - now she didn’t even have that.

She turns her head and peers over toward the corkboard on her wall with various photographs pinned upon it. One of them has a younger version of her squashed between two girls.

Candy and Grenda.

She hadn’t seen them since she moved away. They’d been the only friends who ever truly understood her. They didn’t mind her quirky nature since they were exactly the same.

She missed them.

Realizing her thoughts were treading into dangerous territory, Mabel turned to her laptop and opened it up in an attempt to find something to occupy her. Pulling up the browser, she tapped her finger idly against her desk as she thought of something to do. Watch a video? Read a story? Check out some blogs?

One idea came to her and after considering it for a moment she moved her fingers over the keys. The phrase in the search bar stared back at her for a long while before she eventually found it in her to press ‘enter.’

Several pages worth of results were thrown back at her.

‘William Cifer’ was by no means a quiet student of her senior high school - everyone within the town knew who he was. And if he had been unknown to some before, following the car incident in early spring that certainly wasn’t the case anymore.

Speaking of which - she selected a local online news article covering the spectacle.

**‘Teenager Steals Cars and Sets it on Fire whilst Intoxicated’**

Firefighters were called to a junkyard in the early hours  
of 8th May to tackle a blaze that had broken out from  
an abandoned car. The vehicle had been reported stolen  
a few hours earlier and a local teenager has been  
arrested on suspicion of grand theft auto and arson.

The student, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was  
three times over the limit. He had been suspended from  
school the day before due to involvement in a physical  
altercation with a teacher who is currently in hospital  
following the assault. More details to follow.

Nothing more than she already knew. She’d even witnessed the fight that had taken place the day before the car incident - it had been horrific and only her third day at the school after starting there. How the boy wasn’t expelled yet was amazing.

And apparently he’d now added ‘drug use’ to his list of criminal activities too.

She frowned.

“Oi, Mabel.”

Turning her head, she watched as her bedroom door was pushed open to reveal her Great Uncle Stanley in his wheelchair. She wished he’d remember to knock. His eyes scanned the room until they landed on her. “Ah, there you are. Dinner will be here in five, we’re on takeaway.” Again.

She gave a strained smile. “Sounds great.”

He nodded as he began to turn his chair around. “Get a hold of your brother and tell him to come back or I’ll eat his share too.”

Her smile vanished.

“Yeah… I’ll do that.”

She took one last look of the article on her laptop before closing it off and standing up.

Why was she even searching his name anyway? He was nothing to do with her.

Not in this world, anyway.

* * *

** E**very Wednesday and Friday before she’d been absent from school, Mabel had attended the Art Club. She loved art. Drawing, painting, sculpting, you name it.

It had been two weeks since she’d returned to school however, and so far she hadn’t gone back.

The third week, Mabel gathered the resolve to finally approach and knock on the open door leading into the art room. Several heads turned her way and she felt her cheeks heat at the intensity of their gazes. A few whispers began to surface and just as she was thinking she should turn back, an older boy entered the room and clapped his hands to cease the whispers. He shot them a look before turning his attention to Mabel and smiling, no trace of judgement in his eyes.

“Hello Mabel, long time no see! We were beginning to wonder if you’d forgotten about us.”

“Haha, of course not Gabe.” She rubs her arm awkwardly as she walks further into the room with him. Everyone was working on their own individual pieces, with some stood before easels whilst others sculpted clay.

She’d spent so many hours cooped up in here before. It hadn’t changed much since her last visit. Glancing up at the high shelf that ran along the length of one wall, she smiles at the sight of a bunch of puppets made by some first years. Another wall had a display of paintings by another class, showing off students interpretations of a dream they had. Spider ladies, a mutli-headed bear, a giant baby and more were visible.

Mabel eventually returns her attention toward Gabe. “So... I’m still okay to stop by?”

“Of course!” Gabe looks genuinely surprised she’d suggest otherwise. He was nice like that. “You know where everything is so help yourself to whatever you wish.”

She nods and sends him another grateful smile before finding a workplace near a window which was at a distance from anyone else. Gabe may have had no qualms with her being here but she could see the wary glances a few of the other students sent her way.

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she carries over an easel and some bright neon paints before taking a seat.

Now, what to paint.

She chews at her lip as she tries to think. Before, ideas had crashed against her like an unstoppable tide and she hadn’t been able to get them out onto paper fast enough.

But now, her mind was quiet like a still ocean.

It was unsettling.

She must have been there for half an hour before Gabe came back over. As Head of the Art Club, he took it as his duty to check how everyone was. “Hey Mabel, you’ve been over here a while. Working hard?” He peers over at her easel only to blink in surprise at the blank canvas.

“I’m having a bit of an art block,” she says lamely, cheeks pink.

“Hmm.” He stares at her easel for a moment before turning his attention onto her. “Well, is there anything lately that’s been stuck in your head that you could maybe paint about? A song, perhaps? Or a book? Maybe a place or a person-”

“A person?”

He cuts off, meeting her inquisitive gaze. She wasn’t sure what he saw but he suddenly smiles.

“A person,” he repeats. “If there’s someone who’s been in your thoughts a lot lately, maybe you should try drawing them?”

Without another word he walks away, allowing her to decide on her own actions. Mabel returns her gaze to the blank canvas before her, paintbrush still in hand.

“A person,” she whispers.

She hesitantly allows her thoughts to drift towards a certain blond and to her surprise, finds that doing so causes the still waters of her mind to begin moving. It was nothing compared to the chaotic waves in the past that could wash away anything in an instant.

But it was a start.

Dipping her brush in pant, she leans forward to place it against the canvas.

The last hour of art club goes by in a breeze.

* * *

** F**riday it rained.

Mabel stood at the top of the steps leading down from the school, still safely tucked within the overhang of the roof that protected her. It was the heavy kind of rain that soaked you in minutes and Mabel’s usual route home took almost half an hour.

There were very few students still around at this time, only those such as herself who were attending after-school clubs.

“Trapped?”

“Hm?” She turns her head at the voice to find none other than William Cifer stepping up beside her. She frowns uneasily at being so close to him after their brief encounter in the empty classroom last week but then again, he hadn’t actually done anything to her. 

“Well?” he asks, looking down at her when she didn’t respond and she was once again reminded of the dark circles that hung beneath his eyes all the time. His skin wasn’t exactly tanned either so they stood out pretty clearly on his pale skin and gave him an almost sickly appearance.

After overhearing him in the library, she now knew why.

“...It’s fine,” she mumbles, looking out across the rain-covered streets with a pinched expression. “It’s just rain.”

“So you _don’t_ want a lift?”

Mabel turns back to him. He was gazing down at her with a casual expression and her lips tugged down into suspicious frown.“...What?”

He rolls his eyes and stretches out a finger to her forehead as if to flick it. She jerks away from the contact however and he pauses, staring at her as she regards him warily. His lips twist slightly but he drops his hand a moment later.

“I’m _saying_ that I’m offering you a lift in my truck. To go home. So you don’t drown.” He gives her a look as if she's stupid.

“But I thought you hated me.”

He blinks. “Where did you get that idea?”

“Well, I mean… you’re always giving me these mocking grins and creepy smiles, are you telling me you do that with everyone?”

“No,” he replies without missing a beat. “Just to people I like.”

She stares.

“Just kidding.” He winks at her.

She frowns uneasily, looking down the length of steps. This guy was dangerous. She’d seen him beat up a teacher first-hand who ended up in hospital. He engaged in drugs. He set cars on fire. The idea of being trapped in a car alone with him—where he could then take her anywhere—wasn’t safe.

“Oi,” he says, interrupting her thoughts as he regards her with a passive gaze. When she looks back his way, he speaks. “It’s just a lift. I’ll keep my hands to myself, scouts honor.” He holds up one of his hands in a salute gesture.

“...You don’t seem the type to be a boy scout,” she replies.

He only smiles.

She looks out at the rain once more, spotting a stray individual running down the street with clothes drenched. She really didn’t want to go out in this and get a cold and miss more school. With a sigh, she looks back toward him and his smile widens.

 _I’m going to regret this_ , she thinks.

She still accepts anyway.

Five minutes later she’s sitting in a 4x4 truck hugging herself as warm air blasts through the vents. They’d had to run out to the parking lot to get in his truck and even those few seconds had been enough to drench the pair. He leans in to the back and grabs a towel, throwing it her way before he turns the ignition on. She dries her hair as she spits out her address after some hesitation.

The distance to her Great Uncle's bungalow isn’t much but the route to get there involves several junctions and traffic lights so it still takes ten minutes. They spend most of it in silence.

Eventually it gets too much for her half way in and she reaches out for the radio.

He slaps her hand away.

She shoots him a look. “It’s too quiet.”

He smirks without looking her way. “Then talk.”

She huffs and leans back in her seat, folding her arms and attempting to ignore the trickles of water running down her back. She tries looking out the window as a means to entertain herself but that only lasts a minute.

She finally gives in and looks at him.

“So, I’m Mabel.”

He laughs.

“What? Why are you laughing!?”

“I **_know_ ** who you are,” he replies, as he stops at a red light. He turns his head to look at her. “Everyone in the goddamn school knows who you are.”

She frowns, folding her arms and looking pointedly back out the window. “Well excuse me for trying to introduce myself properly.” She can feel his gaze on her but ignores it, and eventually the light turns green and his attention returns to the road.

“It’s Bill.”

She glances back.

“Bill…” She repeats the name and feels a heavy pressure begin to surface in her head at the mention of it.

“You wanted a proper introduction, right?” he asks, and his voice seems distant as if she’s hearing it through water. “Full name’s William but call me that and I’ll have to dump a bucket of ice over your head.”

“Right…” she replies unsurely, gripping the seat beneath her tightly to tether herself. She already knew this. He’d said something about his name when fighting that teacher. 

“Hey, are you alright? You look pale as hell.”

“I don’t feel good…”

“Wha- hey put your head out the window if you’re going to throw up, I can’t stop here!”

He presses a button and the glass winds down automatically. Mabel hastily leans over and rests her head on the ledge, the cool surface of the metal a source of relief against her cheek. The rain pelts down against her face as she closes her eyes and tries to breathe normally, and it feels as if she’s in that raging ocean once more with her thoughts tumbling and crashing against her like waves as her body is thrown to and fro like a rag doll.

She thinks back to a memory of being chased by a demon. A demon named Bill. 

He was drawing closer and she was holding Dipper's hand as they skidded around a corner but it was too fast and it was reaching out and—

A hand shook her shoulder and she flinched, eyes snapping open.

“Hey, you still with me?”

Taking in her surroundings, she found the car had now stopped and that they were parked outside her place. Her head was pounding as she sat up, and Bill pulls his hand back as she takes shallow breaths. When she eventually looks to her side, he's staring at her with a pinched expression. 

He looks almost worried.

Her gaze drops down to his necklace, and the golden triangle with an eye in its center. Maniacal laughter echoes in her mind that doesn't fit with the expression he's wearing right now.

“You’re different…” she mumbles.

He blinks. “What?”

“Why are you being nice to me?” she asks instead. She couldn’t understand. Why had he offered her a lift? Why was he acting worried for her well-being? This was the same boy who had thrown his fist into another mans face with enough force to break his nose in two places.

Bill pauses before his lips twitch into a half-smile. “I told you already, didn’t I?”

She gives him a confused look.

“I’m interested in you.”

She waits for him to say something else.

But he doesn’t.

He isn’t kidding.

* * *

** G**rowing closer to Bill Cifer was a weird thing to acknowledge.

The next day everyone looked up in surprise as he strutted into Algebra Class for the first time in many weeks. Mabel tried to tell herself it was nothing related to her but that line of reason was hard to hold onto when he repeatedly caught her gaze throughout class and smiled until she looked away first.

When they passed in the corridors, he would bump into her playfully without a word.

During the mornings, he suddenly took an interest in studying at the library too, sitting just close enough that his presence distracted her but too distant for her to call him out on it.

He was like a puppy following after her.

She couldn’t decide if she was annoyed by it or not.

So she brought it up during one of her counselling sessions.

“William Cifer?” Jeff repeats the name with a look of surprise.

Mabel nods as she gives an awkward smile. “For the past week now, he just seems to be following me wherever he can.”

“Is he bothering you?”

“I-” She falters, unsure. “No… not really? It’s not like he’s doing anything wrong by being in the same places as me. It’s just… distracting.” It wasn’t as if she was afraid he was planning something for her. She may have been intimidated prior to their car ride and have her reservations about the boy, but her gut instinct told her he wasn’t a threat.

Jeff seems intrigued. “William doesn’t have a lot friends.” That was obvious. “Have you considered that perhaps this is his attempt at befriending you?”

She tilts her head. “Why would he want to befriend me? I mean, we’re so… different.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Mabel gives him a look of surprise. “What do you mean?”

Jeff opened his mouth to respond but the bell interrupts him. He sighs and gives her a tight smile. “It’s about time you got back to class, so why don’t we end things there, hm? We’ll talk more next time.”

She was still somewhat curious but nods anyway, moving to stand.

“Oh-!” Jeff suddenly perks up, drawing her attention. Tapping a pen on his desk, he considers his words before speaking. “Before you go, tell me very quickly because I forgot to ask… have you seen your brother at all, as of late?”

She blinks. Her grip on her backpack tightens.

“Yes? No?" When she doesn't respond he shrugs, forcing a grin. "Well, it doesn’t matter! We’ll talk about that another time, yes? You go on ahead.” 

She nods and leaves the room without another word.

Her brothers face briefly invades her mind as she walks down the corridor and out into the main hallways. Her chest feels a bit too tight and all she wants is to find a girls bathroom to escape into but someone accosts her before she can do even that.

“Mabel! Sweetie, it’s been too long. I feel like I’ve barely seen you since you came back, have you been avoiding me?”

“Not now Gideon,” she stutters, trying to move around him. The last thing she needed was her unwanted school admirer jostling her.

But he blocks her way again.

“You look pale, are you alright? Do you want me to take you somewhere to sit down, sugarplum?”

Mabel tries to side-step him again but her legs are weak and she stumbles directly into him. When she tries to straighten up, he wraps his arms around her more tightly.

“Gideon, let me go." Her heart feels as if it's beating a mile a minute with adrenaline coursing through her veins, and her body refuses to stop trembling no matter how much she orders it to.

“Oh how could I let you go when you look like you’re going to keel over, you poor thing!” He was running a hand through her hair and she grimaces just as another, familiar, voice interrupts them.

“Outta my way dummy-" A pause. "Oi, what’s going on here?”

Mabel has never been so thankful to hear Bill Cifer’s voice.

“Hm? My Mabel isn’t feeling too good, it’s no concern for the likes of you.”

“ ** _Your_** Mabel?” 

Their voices rise and squeezing her eyes shut, Mabel feels herself adrift in a black sea as various thoughts assault her mind.

_“Cm’on Mabel, you know I care about you more than anything in the world!”_

_“You promise?”_

_“I promise! So come on, awkward sibling hug?”_

_“...Urgh, fine. Awkward sibling hug.”_

_“Pat, pat.”_

Someone was grabbing her but she couldn’t tell who and her breath was coming out too fast and not enough oxygen was being pulled back in and everything was growing dark and fuzzy around the edges and the floor was rising up to meet her and _—_

Then, she passed out.

* * *

** "H**ey, you alright?”

It was the next morning and Bill slumps into the seat beside her as he locates her in the library. She’d been sent home early after fainting and was due an appointment with her doctor to discuss her medicine.

She was just glad it had been Bill who had taken her to the nurse offices and not Gideon. Unlike Bill, her gut instinct warned her to stay the hell away from the other boy who had been annoying her ever since she started school. 

A hand appears in her vision and snaps its fingers and she breaks out of her thoughts to turn toward him.

“Good, you’re finally looking at me!” He gives a Cheshire-like grin as he leans over her table, looking very much like a pet demanding attention. She wouldn’t be surprised if he demanded she pat his head next, or rub his stomach or— okay, bad line of thought to follow there. Abort.

“What’s that look for?” Bill asks when he notices her staring.

“You’re... kind of clingy, aren’t you?” 

He blinks, before grinning. “According to my three ex's, both my parents and one psychoanalyst, yes. Yes I am.”

Well, she hadn’t been expecting that sort of response.

He laughs at her bewildered expression. “The ol' folks favourite pastime whenever I act up is sending me off to some Doctor, getting a diagnosis, and then feeding me pills instead of actually, y’know, talking to me.” He shrugs. “I’ve been diagnosed with three personality disorders by five different psychologists. I collect them like it's a hobby.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“It’s one way to start a conversation, don’t ya think?”

He sends her a casual smile but she can't help but wonder what he was really thinking. The counselor's words float back to her.

_“Have you considered that perhaps this is his attempt at befriending you?”_

It was very obvious that he didn’t have friends in the school. The majority avoided him either out of fear or disgust. And from what he was telling her now, it seemed his family weren't all that supportive either.

Mabel knew of his parents. The Cifers were perhaps the wealthiest family in town after the Northwest’s. They owned some wealthy law firm in the city and were often out of town, which perhaps explained why Bill was allowed to get away with so much.

Mabel had her Great Uncle to support her, even if he didn’t do a great job at times. But Bill didn’t even have that much.

It must be lonely for him.

“Why me?”

“Hm?” He tilts his head at her.

Mabel drops her gaze down to the papers on her desk. “Why do you suddenly want to hang out with me? I’m not that fun to be around.” She hadn’t been fun in a long while.

“Because you’re the same as me.”

She froze, turning her head to meet his gaze as he watched her expectantly.

_“I mean, we’re so... different.”_

_“Are you sure about that?”_

She thinks back to the sight of blood spraying across the floor as the man collapsed to the ground, red pouring from his nostrils and screams sounding from the students.

“That’s not true," she says quickly.

“Isn’t it?” he asks, quirking an eyebrow. “We’re both social pariahs in the school. We both visit the school counselor.”

She frowns.

“We both attacked a teacher.”

She stands up so fast, the chair goes clattering against the floor. The sound echoes in the large building. Mabel breathes heavily as she stares down at him, expression pinched and closed off. He meets her gaze without hesitation.

She presses her lips together. “...I don’t take illegal drugs.”

He pauses before giving a sardonic smile. “No, just medically prescripted ones, right?” When her expression changes, he shrugs. “School’s a breeding ground for gossip. Your business is everyone’s business.”

Mabel says nothing, simply grabs her backpack and makes a beeline for the exit. He follows after her and shouts her name but she ignores it. Only when they’re outside does he rush to block her way. She stumbles to a halt and takes a few steps back, glaring up at him.

“So that’s what all this has been about?” she asks, voice accusatory. “You just wanted to get a front-row seat to the freak show?” Just when she’d been starting to think he was a good guy—

“What? Why the fuck would I need to do that?” he retorts hotly, looking genuinely offended as he gestures to himself. “I’m already one of the top acts myself! I’ve been headlining as the main act years before you even set foot in this town!”

He doesn't look like he's lying. The pain in his eyes looks too real to be an act. She says nothing, lowering her gaze to her feet.

“Why do you see the counselor?” he asks after several seconds of stretched silence.

“Why should I tell you?”

“I just told you some of my problems.”

“I didn’t ask you to do that,” she mutters, shoulders tensing. “It’s none of your business anyway.”

“But I want it to be.”

Mabel raises her head and he’s staring down at her with a resigned expression. It feels weird to see him so vulnerable.

He was lonely, that much was an obvious and undeniable fact.

She was too.

But she didn’t want to risk getting to know someone if there was a chance it could backfire and leave her more hurt.

...Even so, the temptation of having someone there was too tantalizing. Especially when they were outright stating they wanted to know her. And try as she might, Mabel found herself giving in.

“Do you... want to grab some drinks at the diner before school?”

The smile that spread across his face made her heart skip a beat.

* * *

** I**nvading thoughts assaulted her brain as she lay in bed staring up at her ceiling. They’d changed her medication after the fainting incident last week, and while she’d had no further nausea or fainting spells, the current medication did have the unfortunate side effects of insomnia. And the longer she remained laid staring up at the ceiling, the more her thoughts churned and spun until it was almost too much.

Turning over, she grasped her phone, checking the time and squinting at the bright light in her otherwise dark room. 2.00am. Urgh.

Then her thoughts drifted to a certain blond.

He now drove her to and from school every day with the pair often meeting during lunch too. She still had a few reservations about Bill given his reputation, but hanging out with him made the days by go quicker. She didn't feel in danger around him.

And, she actually had fun talking with him.

Mabel found him in her phone contacts. She'd added him last week and he texted a lot. Or, well, he texted **_her_ ** a lot. But she didn’t mind. It was nice to wake up to messages from another person.

She debated texting him for a few moments before caving in and clicking the 'send' button.

M: ‘Are you awake?’

Barely a few seconds later:

B: ‘No, I’m unconscious.’

Her eyes narrow.

M: ‘Funny.’

B: ‘What’s up?’

She pauses, fingers hovering over letters before she replies.

M: ‘Can’t sleep :(’

B: ‘Want me to come over?’

Her eyes widen in alarm and she almost drops her phone off the bed in her haste to reply.

M: ‘No!! My Great Uncle would flip if a guy was in my room in the middle of the night!’

B: ‘That’s only if you get caught ;)’

She flushes.

M: ‘NO.’

B: ‘Alright, fine Miss. Snooze.’

B: ‘What do you wanna talk about then? My dashing good looks or how you’re actually secretly in love with me? <3’

She presses a hand over her face, groaning at his teasing. He always made her heart race when they spoke, and it was rarely for good reasons - he’d probably shortened her lifespan by ten years already.

“How did I become friends with Bill Cifer?”

* * *

** J**ust two days later she finds him on deaths doorstep.

It was the weekend and he hadn’t showed up for their arranged hang out at the diner so she became worried. He wasn’t picking up the phone either so in the end she grabbed a cab to his place. He hadn’t told her the address but he didn’t need too, the Cifers had the second largest house in town after the Mayor. His small manor was located on the outskirts where the buildings were more extravagant and had at least three levels and large expanses of garden.

She steps out of the vehicle and proceeds toward the one house with a golden plaque reading ‘Cifer’ on its garden gate. Passing through, she approaches the house and gives the ornate doors a wary glance before knocking.

Nobody answers.

She tries the door anyway, not expecting anything and surprised when it actually opens for her. She steps inside to find herself in a large entrance. “Hello?”

There’s no reply.

She removes her shoes and walks in, frowning as she searches the place. There's nobody on the first floor so Mabel finds her way upstairs and hears muffled music, following it to a door at the end of a hallway. She knocks. “Bill?”

Mabel pushes the door open when he doesn’t reply, finding a room whose walls were covered in band posters and whose floor was littered with clothing and other miscellaneous items. She finds the boy in question laid on the double bed in the center of it all. With his collared shirt unbuttoned and completely open, and his sleeves rolled back to reveal his forearms, he lays sprawled out on his back in full display. She sidesteps all the items on the ground and places a knee on the bed to lean over and shake him. “Bill? Bill!”

He groans but doesn’t respond and it’s then that Mabel sees the needle on his bedside table alongside multiple unidentified white pills.

Oh no. “Bill… Bill!" A pause. "I'll call you William, I swear to God!" She grabs his shoulders and shakes him frantically without hesitation. He groans again and stirs, eyes squinting open at her.

“Bill, can you hear me? What did you take? How much?” Her voice leaves her in panic, staring down at him in alarm. His skin looks flushed and his pupils are far too big to be normal. He slurs something in response but other than her name she can't make anything else out and he falls unconscious once more—this time she can’t wake him.

She swears as she grabs her phone and rings an ambulance in alarm, heart hammering in her chest.

Right then and there Mabel hates him.

She was here, trying her best to get better—struggling and trying to live a normal life when everything was stacked against her and yet here he was destroying himself from the inside out without a care.

Mabel looks back to him laying there motionlessly, tears in her eyes.

“I hate you,” she whispers.

* * *

** K**icking her bedroom door shut as she juggled multiple books, Mabel walks over towards the front door whilst stuffing them into her backpack. Bill had been in hospital for several days now. His parents had been notified and apparently all it took was their son almost dying for them to come home and visit. Mabel had tried visiting him once but he’d been unconscious and the sight had been so horrific she hadn’t been able to stomach going back yet.

“Mabel?”

Stanley was seated before the television in his wheelchair and she leans over to press a kiss to his cheek as she goes past. “I’ll see you after school."

“Is Dipper not going with you?”

She pauses, and Mabel draws in a long breath before she looks back and smiles at him. “No… not today Grunkle Stan.”

The elder man frowns. “Well, why the hell not? Is the kid skiving?”

Mabel can’t do this right now.

“I’ll see you later, I have to go now!” She quickly escapes out the door and slams it shut behind her, breathing heavily. She presses her forehead against the door and winces as she tries to calm herself.

Just take it one day at a time, that’s what Jeff said.

Pulling away, she turns around to walk down the street when her heart stops.

A familiar 4x4 truck is parked outside.

And a certain boy is stood leaning against it.

She clenches her jaw.

“Mabel,” he tries and she begins walking down the street away from him.

“Mabel, wait!” he yells and she hates that she actually does stop and lets him catch up to her. He looks like crap and she frowns.

“Did you sneak out of hospital?”

“What? No, I was discharged last night.”

“Then you should be in bed,” she retorts and begins walking again. He shouldn’t be driving or going to school.

Bill walks after her.

“I can’t believe you,” she rants. “How the hell could you do something so _stupid!?_ ” She’d known he was taking drugs and disapproved but she’d never thought he’d overdose on multiple kinds! She whirls around suddenly and glares at him, causing him to quickly stumble over his feet in order to not plow into her. “You almost _died!_ Were you trying to kill yourself on purpose or were you really so idiotic that you thought taking that much stuff was fine!”

Bill blinks down at her but as she speaks on his expression hardens and he presses his lips together. He almost looks angry which was ridiculous because he had no right to do that. _She_ was the one angry with _him._

“Oi, it’s my body,” he replies sharply. “What I do with it is my business.”

“Even if you end up dead?”

His glare hardens.

“If you’re so insistent on killing yourself with drugs, then our friendship is over. I’m not going to watch you destroy yourself,” she snaps impulsively, spinning on her heel and marching away from him.

She waits for him to chase after and beg her to stay.

It breaks her heart a little when he doesn’t.

* * *

** L**ong days return.

The pair of them ignore each other in the beginning, both equally stubborn. He ceases coming to Algebra classes and giving her car rides. In the hallways, they avert their gazes.

In her counselling sessions she refuses to discuss the situation.

She was angry at him.

...But she missed him.

Mabel only manages to last five days before she seeks him out during lunch period. He was walking down a hallway when she reaches out to grasp him by his shirt sleeve. He quickly snaps his head around to find her staring up at him with wide imploring eyes.

“Bill...” she whispers, voice pleading.

He stares back at her and she can see that he feels the same. He misses her too.

But he clenches his jaw and shakes his head, pulling free and walking away.

And she was alone again.

The feeling of solitude hit her like a freight train.

She missed Bill. She missed Dipper. She missed not being alone.

The pill bottle on her desk began to collect dust.

* * *

** M**abel stumbles over a log as she runs through the undergrowth of the forest, panting heavily and ducking beneath overhanging branches. She could see him—just in the distance, just out of reach. Why was he running away from her?

“Dipper!” she yells with such force it hurts her throat. Tears were beginning to blur her vision and she could see him just ahead, pausing as he surveyed something in front of him. She reaches out, hand grasping for his jacket—

—instead, she phases right through him and continues to fall down.

She tumbles down the slope, spinning and spinning until she can’t make out which way is up and which is down. When she eventually comes to a stop, her head hurts and she feels dizzy. The sky above her is daylight blue but after closing her eyes for only a few seconds, its transformed into an almost pitch black.

She feels cold.

Mabel pushes herself up and her limbs feel stiff as she looks around and takes in her surroundings. She’s in a field by a river. She can spot the school in the distance so she heads in that direction since its familiar.

When she arrives at the school and heads toward the street, she makes it several blocks through the town before a pair of headlights pass over her. A few minutes later a truck pulls up beside her on the road. When she turns her head, Bill is staring at her from within his vehicle.

“I thought you were ignoring me,” she mutters.

His frown deepens. “What the hell happened to your head? Why are you even out here this late at night?”

“It’s nothing,” she insists and begins walking again.

Bill’s truck follows after her and she hates him, she _hates_ him. “Oi, I can’t leave you out here alone when it’s dark!" He sighs. "Get in the truck, I'll drive you home.”

“No.” Why was he acting like he cared when he was the one who’d left her?

“Then let me call a cab.”

“Do what you want.”

So he does. She goes and waits on a bench and he remains in his vehicle by the side of the road watching out for her. Five minutes later a cab rolls up and she steps into the back of it as Bill leaves his truck and comes over to pay the driver who then takes her home. When she enters, Stanley doesn’t even look over from this television - he has no clue she was even out.

Mabel passes by a mirror and finds a stream of blood has trickled down from a cut on her forehead. She can’t help the impulse to press down on it, wincing at the pain inflicted.

Bill was gone. Stanley was only present half the time.

She only had one other option left.

* * *

** N**early, she was nearly within reach. If she could take a few more steps forward, she could reach Dipper as he stood on the other side of the river a few feet away. She breathes heavily, eyes fixated on him as if he looking away would cause him to vanish.

If she could just touch him that would be fine. The Mystery Twins, reunited.

She wouldn’t be alone.

She shuffles forward, eyes piercing into the back of his head as she moves nearer, raising a foot forward—

“Mabel.”

She freezes at the sound of her name and she looks over her shoulder only for her eyes to widen at the sight of the triangular demon hovering several feet behind, staring at her with an intensity that burned as he floated in front of a line of trees.

“Stay away,” she stutters, taking a step back. Almost. Almost there. Just a few more feet—

“Don't,” Bill says and he didn’t sound mocking which confuses her. He sounded… normal? For a moment, his appearance glitches and he looks like an ordinary boy—

“Mabel?”

She turns at the sound of the other voice, and her eyes widen as she finds Dipper actually staring back at her with a soft and gentle smile.

“Bro-bro?” she whispers, tears in her eyes as she steps forward—

“Mabel!” the demon snaps from behind. Or not-demon. She wasn’t sure. Her mind felt foggy.

She hesitates.

Dipper’s expression hardens at the demon’s interruption before his gaze returns to her and his softness returns. “Ignore him, Mabel. He can’t get to us if we’re together. Mystery Twins always, right?”

“Right…”

He stretches out his arms in a wide gesture. “Awkward sibling hug?”

She laughs at that, tears falling down her face as she reaches out her own arms. “Awkward sibling hug.”

She steps forward—

—only to be yanked backward from the rooftop edge, arms wrapping around her securely as a chest presses up against her from behind.

And like that, she was back.

She was shaking, unable to control the tremors as she stared ahead at the vast empty space beyond the roof that had been calling out to her.

“...Bill?” she whispers, voice barely there.

The arms tighten their grip and it’s a little painful but she doesn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry,” he says, pressing his face into the crook of her neck.

Tears overspill and fall down her cheek, lower lip trembling as she stands in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, over and over without end.

She leans into him, using him as a crutch as she tries not to fall apart.

* * *

** O**rdering drinks, they find a booth to sit at in their local diner. The sun is setting and she feels calmer now. It’s been a couple of days, she’s resumed her medication and hasn’t had any more incidents. Although the looks the doctors had sent her way when they discovered she’d stopped taking her medicine had been concerning.

She had to take her daily dose with supervision now.

But at least one good thing had come of it. She and Bill were on speaking terms once again and he'd even agreed to get help for his drug problem finally.

She chews on her straw as they sit in comfortable silence.

“Why do you visit the counsellor?” he asks, and it’s the third time he’s asked that. “What exactly happened to you that you had to take two weeks off school?”

She frowns. “Don’t you already know? Practically the entire school body was talking about it.”

“I heard the rumours and gossip,” he replies. “I want to hear your version.” Reaching out, he tugs the straw from her lips and she blinks as he turns it around and plops it in his own milkshake to drink from, his lips touching the same end hers had. “So spill.”

She feels heat warm her cheeks but tells herself it doesn’t mean anything even as he smirks at her. She drops her gaze down to the table as she speaks.

“I… have these delusions,” she confesses. It feels weird to be talking to somebody about this who isn’t a counselor or medical professional. Bill says nothing, staring at her and letting her go on.

“They feel real. To me anyway,” she adds, eyebrows knitting together. “When I was younger, my family would visit this small town called Gravity Falls out in Oregon. I have these moments where I believe that I’m back there and twelve years old again. I’m with my brother Dipper and we go out and… solve all these supernatural mysteries.” A shrug. “It’s silly, I know.”

“Any idea what started them?”

A pause. “The end of last year my parents died in a car crash and I moved to this town to live with my Great Uncle Stanley this Spring. A little while after that, they started.” Another shrug. “It all reached a head when a few months ago I thought I was fighting this giant monster, but…”

“But?”

She sighs. “It was a substitute gym teacher. Apparently I whacked him around the head with a baseball bat and bit another teachers arms when he tried to intervene.”

“Well damn.”

“Yeah… it’s bad, right?” she asks, unable to look back up. “I don’t blame everyone for avoiding me after that. Who wants to be friends with the crazy girl who might snap and attack you-”

“Hey.”

He raises her head with a finger under her chin, frowning at her. Mabel blinks away tears she hadn’t even realized were there until now.

“If you’re crazy, then what does that make me? The guy who willingly befriended you?”

“I dunno… desperate?”

He blinks before bursting into laughter and she smiles despite herself.

As his laughter fades, he goes to take another drink before pausing. “You said you solve mysteries with your brother. I didn’t know you had a sibling.”

“I don’t,” she replies as she peers toward the diner window and stares at her reflection. “He died, too.”

* * *

** P**honing him one night proves disastrous. It’s a Friday and he picks up on the final ring just before she’s about to hang up.

“Bill, are-”

“Mabel, you have to help me.”

She blinks, sitting up straight in her bed and already completely alert. “What? What’s going on?”

“I can’t- I-” He cuts off with a string of curses and she hears her name somewhere between them before he hangs up abruptly. She has flashbacks to the time she found him overdosed and is already leaping out of bed and phoning a cab.

It’s late at night but she tells Stanley she’s visiting a female friend and probably won’t be back. He seems surprised by this information but within a few hours he’ll probably forget she went out anyway.

She still feels bad for leaving him though and plants a kiss on his cheek before leaving.

Mabel grabs the cab to Bill’s house and doesn’t bother knocking as she bursts in. His parents left as soon as he was discharged out of hospital so there's no risk of them being in. She finds him in his bedroom, curled into a ball on the floor and trembling.

“Bill!” She crouches by his side and his face is twisted as his muscles spasm, skin pale and clammy. He opens his eyes but they barely see her.

“Mabel…”

“Bill, what’s wrong?” she asks, panic bubbling within her chest. He looks **_awful._ ** His hair is plastered to his forehead and his shirt is practically drenched in sweat. “Did you take something?”

He shakes his head and she feels relieved.

“Need…”

She frowns, leaning closer to try and hear him. “Need what?”

“Need…” He clenches his teeth and the look of pain on his face almost breaks her heart as he grips at his stomach. “I need more.”

“More? More of what?”

“H...”

“H?”

He groans. “Heroine,” he finally hisses.

Her blood runs cold. “What?”

“I need-” He grits his teeth and groans, rolling onto his front. “Fuck, I'm going to die." Another groan. "I’m going to die if I don’t get some more. Just a little bit.”

“You can’t be serious.”

He releases a cry of pain and she flinches. She’s heard about this. These are just withdrawal symptoms because he was so addicted. You can’t die from withdrawal symptoms.

....Right?

“I’ll ring an ambulance,” she says, moving to stand but he grabs her wrists.

“No, don’t leave me… please.” His eyes meet hers and he looks terrified. Mabel sits back down as she grasps his hand in hers.

The hours tick by and he only gets worse, neither of them sleeping much. She finds an appointment card on his bedside table for Monday to do with drug rehabilitation.

Looking at him writing on the floor though, she’s not sure if he can make it until then. At one point he gets on his hands and knees and **_begs_ ** her to give him something.

She doesn’t want to cave in.

But as she stares at him shivering on the floor so pathetically she can’t help but feel her heart clench painfully. It hurts to see him in so much pain.

“Alright…” she whispers eventually, face resigned as a sour taste invades her mouth. “I’ll get you a little bit. Just enough to keep you going until Monday.” 

He nods against the floor, whimpering.

She inhales deeply. “Who’s your dealer?”

A grumble. “Northwest.”

Her eyes widen. “The Mayor?”

A shake of his head. “Nnn… no… his daughter.”

“Pacifica?”

* * *

** Q**uestioning whether this was a good idea or not, Mabel visits the Northwest manor the following morning. A butler answers and Mabel swallows nervously.

“I’m here to see Pacifica? I’m a classmate of hers.”

The butler stares down his nose at her. “Madam isn’t expecting any guests.”

“No, but it’s an emergency.”

His scowl deepens but before he can say anything more, the girl in question appears at the doorway herself. When she sees who it is, her expression turns to disgust. “What are _you_ doing here? Chasing more monsters?”

“It’s about Bill.”

Her expression changes in an instant. Pacifica glances at the butler then back at her in alarm before stepping out. “I’ll be back in a second, Jeeves. We just need to discuss some homework.” Then she grabs Mabel by the sweater and drags her out towards the garden gate, glaring. “What is this?”

“It’s Bill,” Mabel insists. “He’s in real bad shape. He needs- well, he said you were his dealer?”

The girls face flares red. “I am _not_ a dealer! I went out and bought some stuff for him a few times and that’s it!"

“Well, who did you buy it from?”

The girls face twists in distaste and an hour later Mabel finds herself standing before another door in town, this time feeling much more uneasy.

When the door opens to reveal its occupant, the unease increases threefold.

“Mabel?”

“Hi… Gideon.”

He looks surprised to see her, one hand remaining on the door handle as his blue eyes quickly take a scan of her. But, quickly he gets over his initial shock and smiles warmly. “Mabel, this _is_ a surprise. If I’d known you were dropping by to see lil’ old me, I’d have put something smarter on.”

“T-That’s fine,” she insists, giving him a placating smile.

He steps aside, gesturing into his apartment with one arm. And although the idea of stepping into Gideon’s personal space fills her with a sinking feeling, it’s not as if she can exactly discuss the topic of conversation in the hallway where residents from the other flats may hear.

So she swallows past the lump in her throat and steps in. The curtains are drawn, plunging the apartment into semi-darkness as candles lining the shelves light up the room.

She remains hovering near the door as he walks past her and with a sweep of his arm, gestures to his living space. “Welcome to my own little abode. Can I get you a drink?"

“No, I’m good thanks,” she replies, rubbing one arm awkwardly and eager to leave as soon as possible. “I just came by because I need some, uh, stuff.” Oh God.

He blinks at her. “Stuff?”

“D-Drugs,” she stutters. “Heroine?”

He gives her a bewildered look for a moment and then, all at once, a steely gaze locks into place. “No,” he says, voice firm and absolute as he shakes his head. “No, I won’t- that stuff isn’t for playing with, honey. It’s bad and rots you from the inside, I won’t let you ruin yourself with that.”

And yet he’d had no qualms about giving it to Pacifica Northwest.

“Look, it isn’t for me, alright?” she explains, taking a few tiny steps forward which was as far as she was willing to get close to him. “It’s for… a friend.”

He stared at her with a piercing gaze. “A friend?”

She nods, squirming slightly.

A suspicious look crosses his face. “This _‘friend’_ wouldn’t happen to enjoy burning cars recreationally, would he?”

Her expression twists. “Gideon, please.”

“Good lord, so now he’s got you fetching him drugs?” He places a hand over his forehead. “Why are you hanging out with a guy like that, Mabel? He’s bad news.”

“Look, he’s going through some bad withdrawal symptoms, he _needs_ this.” It twists her insides to be doing something like this. But she only had to think of the pain in Bill’s expression to stride on - she was desperate. After this, he’d finally get the help he needed on Monday and work towards being clean. It was the start of a fresh life.

But he needed to get through this weekend to get there first.

Gideon continued to look like he’d tasted something sour.

“Please, Gideon,” she whispers, voice soft and gaze imploring. 

He sighs. “...Alright, fine. I can’t say ‘no’ to you, Mabel.”

She smiles.

“But,” he holds one finger up. “I can’t just go giving this stuff out for free-”

“That’s fine, how much?” She’d emptied out her bank account before coming here. Pulling out her wallet from her bag, she begins to go through it.

A hand covers her own, ceasing her actions. When she raises her head, Gideon was right in front of her and she flinches in surprise.

“I won’t take your money, dear.”

“But… what about payment…?”

He smiles at her, and there was a dark underside to it that made her insides churn. He runs a hand along her arm, fingers tracing over her bare skin.

“I had something else in mind.”

She jerks away from him, eyes wide in alarm. “F-Forget it.” She spins around, reaching out for the door and throwing it open.

“Really? You’d leave him to suffer like that? Considering the shit he’s been on, that boy is in for a rough time. I mean, really, it's worse than torture to be in that position I've heard.”

Her grip on the handle tightens as Gideon places a hand on her shoulder. 

“Come on, it won't take long.”

She swallows thickly past the bile in her throat as she releases the door handle and allows it to close once more.

She's desperate, she reminds herself.

* * *

** R**eturning to his house before noon, Mabel finds Bill passed out in the bathroom after having apparently thrown up in the toilet. "Bill! Bill, are you okay? Can you hear me?”

He moans, looking even worse than he had when she left. She reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a small see-through baggie of white powder. “It’ll be okay now, I got you this.”

She holds it in front of his face and when he eventually focuses on it, he bolts up straight with wide eyes. “You got some?”

She nods, a sour taste in her mouth. “Yeah.”

He takes the baggie from her, and she can see the way his eyes focus on them with want. Just a few more days, she tells herself. Then he’ll be on the first step to recovery.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

“Don’t mention it,” she replies. _“Ever.”_

He meets her gaze as she remains knelt on the bathroom tiles before him. Her expression was resigned. She felt gross - for multiple reasons.

His smile dims as he sees her face and how much she must have detested doing this. She pushes herself to stand and leaves him, not wanting to see him take the drugs as she goes and takes a seat on his bed and waits there instead.

Later he finds her, looking slightly better and she hates that fact.

Sitting beside her, she blinks as he holds out a wad of cash to her. “Here.”

“What-”

“For the drugs,” he mutters. “They’re not cheap and knowing Pacifica, she might have charged you double.”

Mabel stares at him in bewilderment. He had no idea who Pacifica got the drugs from. 

“Bill, I don’t-”

_“Take it.”_

Mabel could either accept his offer or she could ‘fess up over the fact she hadn’t paid in cash.

She takes the money and stuffs it in her pocket without another word.

* * *

** S**carecly a week later the rumours fly around the school involving her and Gideon. She could hear the whispers follow her no matter where she went and during lunch period she manages to locate Gideon.

“How could you!?” she asks, face red with embarrassment and indignation.

Gideon blinks back at her innocently. “Well, you never told me to keep it a secret-”

"I shouldn't have had to tell you!" she snaps back, unable to figure out why he would do this. He claimed he was in love with her and then he pulls this stunt. Why? “Is this because I've been hanging out with Bill?” she sputters. "Are you _punishing_ me for that?"

Gideon shrugs, gaze impassive. "He's not good enough for you."

Mabel's expression drops. "But you are?"

"Of course." And he steps forward, grasping her hands in his. “Now, you’re getting yourself worked up and that's no good. Why don’t we go back to my place after school? We can get cosy-”

She snatches her hands out of his grasp, glaring as she practically spits out her words. “Stay the hell away from me.” She can’t run away fast enough as she hides away under some bleachers until the end of lunch. Bill doesn’t text her throughout the day so when she goes to the parking lot after school and finds him leaning against his 4x4 truck expectantly, she thinks everything is fine.

Then, as she approaches, he looks up and her hope dies.

He glares at her, eyes burning with an intensity that makes all courage melt.

“Is it true?” he asks, voice clipped and restrained.

She swallows, gripping her sweater with both hands.

He pushes himself off from the truck and closes the distance between them as he stands hovering above her. His arms remain at his side, hands clenching and unclenching repeatedly as he trembles slightly.

“Mabel,” he says, voice thick. “Is it true?” 

“I… I had to,” she whispers.

“Fuck!” He turns around and kicks his truck door with such ferocity it leaves a dent. She flinches at the large sound and he grabs his head and pulls at his hair as he curses and hunches over. “Why, why, why?” he mumbles before eventually turning around with wide eyes. “Why the fuck would you do that!? Were you _ever_ going to tell me?”

No.

He must have seen that thought in her expression because he grit his teeth and swore again, this time punching his truck as it took the brunt of his anger.

“You looked like you were dying!” she yells in her defense. “You were begging me!! The only person I could get that stuff from was Gid-”

“Don’t you fucking dare say his name!”

“From him!” she rambles on, tears falling. “And I was desperate so I… I did what he asked me to.” Her shoulders slump down, voice growing quiet.

“Why?” he asked, throwing his arms out. “For me? Mabel, I’m a fucking mess! I would have been fine - I WAS fine! You can’t just go throwing yourself at every creep anytime I’m being a pissbaby!”

“I didn’t throw myself at him,” she mutters, hugging herself. “I didn’t even sleep with him.” Even though the rumours would have everyone believe otherwise.

“...You didn’t?”

She shakes her head, and a tiny fraction of the tension leaves his body at that. 

“But you still did stuff with him.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

He breathes heavily, glancing back at her and observing her. She stands hugging herself with her head down and he releases a long and heavy sigh before he stands forward and wraps his arms around him. She sinks into him, clinging to his shirt tightly.

“I’m the one who should be saying that,” he whispers.

* * *

** T**he next day Gideon is hospitalized following a brutal assault.

He refuses to name his assailant.

Mabel eyes Bill the next time they meet but he says nothing of the matters.

She can't help but notice the bruises on his knuckles though.

* * *

** U**nder the cover of nightfall, she sneaks him into her room after being been unable to fall asleep again. This time, she hadn’t protested when he suggested coming over.

She sits on her bed with her knees hugged to her chest as he snoops around her room with curiosity. Stanley was dead to the world when he slept so she wasn’t that worried about being caught.

“You were there too,” she randomly blurts out as he examines her corkboard of photographs.

He looks over. “What?”

“In my delusions,” she clarifies, picking idly at a loose piece of thread on one of her socks. “A lot of people were.”

“Huh.” He looks intrigued by this information, giving up the act of snooping in favor of turning her way. “So, what was I like in your fantasy world? Was I handsome and charismatic with an irresistible charm?” 

She hesitates and his smile fades.

“Wow, that bad huh?”

She drops her gaze down. “You were a demon.”

“...A bad demon or a good demon?”

“Is there any such thing as a good demon?”

“All those trashy romance novels shelved in the library would have you believe otherwise.”

She gives a light smile before her expression sobers once more. “No. You were… a pretty big jerk.”

“I’m already a jerk," he states as he takes a seat on the edge of her bed beside her.

“No, there you were… different,” she elaborates. She leans sideward and rests her head against his shoulder, their bare arms brushing against one another. “You were evil.”

Bill tenses. 

“Do you remember that day you assaulted a teacher?” she asks, tilting her head so that she can see his expression.

“...Not really. A few bits and pieces but that’s it. I was pretty high at the time.”

“I thought you were drunk.”

“They reported that it was alcohol because that was better than drugs but nah, it was the latter. Why?”

“I was there,” she says. “When you attacked the teacher.”

She saw him wince. “You were?”

“Mhmm. I heard this commotion going on outside so I followed everyone and you were there with this baseball bat as you yelled about how you were untouchable and going to take over the world. It was kind of sad."

“...Great," he drawls, looking bitter.

“The teacher who came out tried to stop you. He called you by your first name and you got really pissed off at him.” She could clearly recall that one moment in her head as he'd thrown his fist into the teachers face which crumpled beneath the force.

_‘That is **not** my fucking name! I’m Bill Cifer - all powerful and above you morons!'_

It had only been Mabel's third day at the school. 

“I’m named after my dad.”

She tuned back in to find him looking off into the distance.

“...I don’t like being called William since I don’t like being reminded of my relation to him.” A pause and he looks down at her. “That’s not to say I attack every single person who calls me that. Only when I’m high as a kite on drugs." A shrug as he leaned his head back and allowed his gaze to wander to the ceiling. "That was the first - _and last_ \- time I did coke. That shit's bad.”

She gives a tight smile.

“So what?" he asks. "Are you saying that’s what I was like in your delusions?”

“Pretty much.”

“Wow, first impressions really do make all the difference.” Bill pauses before looking back to her. “And you still decided to befriend me? Even when I was the big bad guy in your delusions?” He looks uncomfortable at acknowledging that. “How the hell did you choose to hang out with me after all the shit ‘Other Me’ did to you?”

She blinks.

“Because I’m interested in you.”

His expression goes slack.

A pause and the intensity of his expression following her words causes heat to begin crawling up her throat and onto her face.

"...Just kidding.”

(She was such a coward, dammit).

He narrows his eyes marginally before snorting and shaking his head. When he looks her way again, there’s a large smile on his face and the sight almost steals her breath away. It's been a number of weeks since his rehabilitation started and she can already tell the difference in his appearance. His skin is brighter; his eyes warmer. Even his smile looks softer as he gazes at her like she's the best thing in the room.

“You’ll be the end of me, Mabel Pines.”

He reaches out and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, eyes meeting hers. Her heart skips a beat inside her chest.

“But if it’s you, I don’t mind.”

* * *

** V**isiting the art room during lunch hour with Bill in tow, Mabel feels her heart thudding in anticipation as she leads him to a wall in the back.

“What are we doing?” he asks, casting curious glances around the place. A few students who were already inside don’t look too comfortable at the sight of Bill, and a few even pack up their things and leave. She only grabs his hand in hers and tugs him around a corner as she pulls him to stand beside her.

“This,” she says.

He raises his attention from their joined hands to the wall in front of them and she watches his face intently. She sees the brief look of confusion quickly pass into bewilderment, then surprise, then complete shock. His lips part and eyes widen as he takes in the sight before him.

“...What is this?” he asks, voice quiet.

She tugs on a piece of her hair nervously, clearing her throat. “It’s, um, you?”

He looks down at her.

“Or, I mean… sort of you?” she babbles. “I didn’t know what to paint one day and then I thought of you so I sort of just painted what I wanted and this was the final product. Gabe wanted to put it up but I wanted you to see it and check it was alright since you're kinda included in it?”

The final piece was an array of bold golden shades of color adrift a sea of blackness. Three sided shapes and unsettling sole eyes swam about it in a surrealist-inspired scene, all framed around the centerpiece which was a portrait of Bill painted completely in gold. She’d been working on it in the art club, every week, for two months.

“Bill, you’re not saying anything and it’s sort of freaking me out,” she says, feeling his hand tighten around hers.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

She blinks.

His eyes widen and he quickly snaps his head back toward the painting. “The painting, I think I’m in love with the painting,” he amends quickly. She can feel the sweat from the palm of his hand as she regards his profile. 

Mabel stares up at him, cheeks flushed and heart pounding. Swallowing, she forces herself to look to the painting as well.

“...I think I’m in love with it too,” she whispers, squeezing his hand back.

From the corner of her eye she sees his lips stretch into a wide smile.

* * *

** W**alking into the counselors office, she greets Jeff as she takes a seat.

“Mabel, you look happy.”

“I do?”

“You’re smiling more,” Jeff supplies. “And you look healthier. Have you been sleeping better?”

She thinks of a certain blond she’s been sneaking into her room most nights. It’s easy to fall asleep when enveloped in a pair of strong arms.

“...I guess.”

“That’s good!” he insists, clapping his hands. “I’m happy for you. You seem to have made a lot of progress lately.” Jeff turns and begins typing into his computer. “How are things at home?”

“...Okay.” She rubs her arms, frowning and after a long moment adds, “My Great Uncle’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse.”

“Are you in touch with any organizations or doctors?”

“Doctors.”

Jeff nods, looking worried. “There’s support out there for you and your Great Uncle. Reach out and take all of it, you don’t need to be alone.”

She hums in agreement, feeling nauseous. She had no other relatives to go to, she didn’t know what she’d do if Stan was sent away too.

“Are you still taking the medication your doctor prescribes you?”

Another nod. “Yes, every morning.”

“Any delusions?”

“N-No.”

He looks her way.

“Sometimes I have dreams,” she clarifies sheepishly. “But just dreams, just when I’m sleeping.”

“Well… that’s to be expected I suppose. As long as they’re not interfering with your daily life.” Jeff frowns. “You’re a bright girl, Mabel. I could see you doing great things and I don’t want you to waste all that.”

“I know, sir,” Mabel replies, dropping her gaze to the table between them. “I’m doing better now. I think I'll be okay."

“Mhhm. I see you and William have gotten close.”

“Bill.” 

“Hm?”

“He prefers Bill. He hates being called William."

Jeff blinks. “Ah, yes my mistake.” Clearing his throat, he shuffles in his seat. “But if you know that, you must be very close then, yes?”

Mabel feels her cheeks darkening. “I don’t… really feel comfortable discussing this with you, sir.”

“Of course, of course, I’m not trying to pry. I’m just glad the two of you seem to be helping one another. Can I confess something to you?”

“Um, yes?” She raises an eyebrow curiously.

“Bill says you’re the best thing that ever happened to him.”

“...He did?”

“Mhmm.”

If that was true, then Mabel felt sorry for him.

* * *

E **X** ploring the sky above with her eyes, there was no sight of any moon or stars from beneath the storm clouds that were gathering. As she laid in the long grass, hands clasped over her stomach, Mabel breathed in the cool night air.

“What are you thinking?” Bill asks.

She turns her head toward her companion laid at her side. It was too dark to make anything more than a vague silhouette out, but she can hear his soft breathing and feel the warmth of his skin from where their arms occasionally brush side by side.

“Why do you want to know?” 

“I've said it before, haven't I? I want to know everything about you.” He turns his head and she can just make out his eyes in the darkness as his words make her heart do weird flops.

“Everything?”

“Yup.”

“Even the bad stuff?”

“Yeah.”

She pauses. Her heart is a steady drumbeat inside her chest. Sometimes she can’t help but think back to how Bill was portrayed in her delusions, back when the only image she had of him was based on an intoxicated version whose personality was affected by delusions of grandeur. She hadn't even known how his surname was spelled back then as seen by the difference between the real him and the version inside her head.

They weren't the same person at all.

When she says nothing for a long while, Bill speaks again as he turns on his side to face her completely. “What about this instead then: Tell me a secret you’ve never told anyone else before.”

She turns on her side too. “It can be anything?”

“Mhmm.”

“Alright, you go first.”

“Me?”

“You suggested it.”

Bill clicked his tongue. “Alright then. I-”

“And it can’t be a joke.”

“...Fine.”

She narrows her eyes.

He breathes out, remaining quite for a long while. “...Do you remember that day you found me overdosed?”

“I try not to.”

“You asked me if I was trying to kill myself and I said no.”

“...Yeah.”

Bill hummed to himself. “But, I think part of me… might have wanted to.”

She sits upright. "What!?"

Bill rolls onto his back once more, staring up into the sky. “I can’t remember what I was thinking at the time but sometimes I consider it in passing. If you’re dead, you don’t have to deal with anything, right? And, well…" He sighs. "I’m dealing with a lot of shit.”

Her face falls. “You want to die?”

“Not really. I just want to stop existing for a little bit but…” A chuckle. “That’s not really possible, is it?”

“Bill…” She gazes down at him in concern.

“Wow, this got dark fast, huh?” Bill says, voice chirper as he sits up as well and stretches his arms above him. Mabel says nothing, examining him with a frown and he turns to face her.

"I can't see your face properly but I'm guessing your frowning at me."

"Ding ding," she mutters and he laughs before moving forward suddenly and cupping her face in his hands. She flushes as he presses his forehead against her, glad that the darkness hides her embarrassment.

Bill breathes out deeply as the warmth of his skin soaks into hers. "You're too good for me, Mabel Pines. I don't deserve you."

She says nothing, and the two of them remain like that for several moments, feeling one another's quiet breathes on the others face. Eventually, she speaks in a hushed tone.

“...Do you want to know my secret?” 

His thumbs brush over her cheek. “...What?”

“I want to kiss you.”

"Then what are you waiting for?" he whispers back. "Do it."

So she does.

And it's great.

* * *

** "Y**ou doing alright?”

She looks aside at him as they sit on a set of stairs in a rarely used portion of the school. “Hm?”

When he gives her a pointed look, her facade of innocence drops. “...It’s fine,” she mumbles.

“It’s not.”

She drops her gaze down to the sandwich in her hands with a frown. The rumours regarding her and Gideon still hadn’t completely faded. The fact she hung out with Bill all the time and they were viewed as a couple - which, she supposed, they were now? - only served to make the gossip surrounding her even nastier. Even her counselor had mentioned the rumours and asked how she was holding up.

“I can’t do anything about it,” she states. Eight more months and they’d have graduated but until then it looked like she was in for a rough ride. 

At least she had Bill. A few guys had tried some lewd teasing one day only to get beaten up by him after school. She disapproved of his actions but after that, nobody tried to approach her directly.

“Stop that,” she says.

“What?”

“Looking guilty. It isn’t your fault.” When he makes a face, she glares. “I made my own decisions that day. Nobody forced me into anything.” Even if the things with Gideon had been done out of desperation rather than mutual consent.

Bill regards her, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “How the hell did someone like me get lucky enough to be with you?”

“Well, for one thing you wouldn’t give up chasing after me.”

He gives a wry smile. “You didn’t have to give in.”

She flashes him a grin as she leans over to give him a quick peck. He protests when she pulls away before he can return the affection but when she takes his hand in hers, that seems to satisfy him.

It had been a number of weeks now and he was still clean from drugs. She was proud of him. They both relied on one another. By themselves, they'd have both gone off the rails long ago (or worse, have ended up dead).

They were just taking it one day at a time.

And that was fine.

* * *

** Z**ol dhz kvul johzpun novzaz...

**Author's Note:**

> Funnily enough, this was a lot darker originally - I lightened it up a LOT in the end version. There were a lot of bits and pieces I wanted to add in which I had to cut out in order to stick to the alphabetical theme so it may be I add some future installments in this verse as separate stories - depends, would you fancy seeing that?
> 
> Inspired by 'Staying Vertical' by midnight_neverland which also revolves around a girl who has delusions of a fictional world and a boy with his own mental issues. The concept was intriguing to me and I wanted to create my own version of it with MaBill.
> 
>  
> 
> **Cipher Hint: If you're having trouble, try googling for a cipher decoder.**


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